i often stumble

 There's something much harder about this then I expected. Maybe it's the constant looking at the time. the clocks are not arrows but they can still get stuck in your back if you let them. i'm talking about life, of course. Its losing its luster and apparantly at 24 its way to early for me to call what i;m in now a rut. but just wait until im 40 and i'm claiming that is was where it all started. where the fear crippled me so badly that I was unable to move or think. i thought i was doing well, but today taught me a lesson.  I'm not sure what I supposed to be doing or saying. or why im so obsessed with doing or saying the correct thing. Probably because i think itll lead me to some perfect ending, a painless lesson, silence; or all the above. all these things sound like death or a nap. is that too dismal? am i any good at this?  what is it gonna be that i do for money and why does it matter so much? well for one, I believe that when people are in the correct line of ...